LoL! 

 

This is Dominic (and Barry). 


It is said that Dominic and Barry met in adjacent cots in the maternity hospital. They were inseparable as children, they got into the same scrapes, covered for each other, wooed the same livestock and generally spent as much time together as possible.

One day they went to the travelling fayre. They knew it was authentic because it was a "fayre" and not a "fair". The only missing guarantee of authenticity would have been if it had been "ye olde". They rode the carousel, threw darts at pigs bladders (the pigs were not amused) and leant against a fence to watch the girls go by. All the girls went by. The girls knew Dominic and Barry.

As they bored of the admittedly limited amusements of the Fayre, they spotted a small tent just outside the warm glow of the burning heretics. Barry, the more adventurous of the pair, jerked his thumb at the tent and suggested there might be some fun to have within.

Alas! No fun. Instead sat an old crone, so old and croney and decrepit and boil infested that even   Barry could muster no interest. When requested, they dutifully handed over a coin of silver and the crone intoned that each could request one boon, wish, or spell. Dominic, looking at his friend with great friendship, a manly comradely friendship you understand, and wished that the pair would be inseparable. Barry was more fundamental in his request.

The next day dawned, and the power of the crone was evident. She had granted Dominic's request, and fused the two friends into one body. Perhaps Barry was a little slurred from drink. Perhaps the Crone was a little hard of hearing, for Barry's boon was not at all what he asked for. Instead he got a leg that was like that of a male chicken, and enormous tentacles.

Dominic and Barry (they refuse to be called DomBar or BarNic) rushed to the site of the Fayre but it had disappeared without trace, taking a widow's chamber pot, the mayor's prize lap dog and three girls reputed to be virgins.*

Dominic and Barry have made the best of their situation. They have made changes. Dominic now has to sleep on his side. When he slept on his back he nearly suffocated Barry in the pillow. They could never agree on armour, so they have settled on a "whatever we can get" philosophy, and Dominic has to clean both sets of teeth as they haven't quite managed to properly manipulate a toothbrush with a tentacle.

There are compensations. They are quite proud of the fact that nobody can sneak up on them, the tentacle is a whizz at trout tickling, and they can scratch a living with their outside chicken leg.

Poor Dominic (and Barry). 

*The girls were later returned as being "not as specified."

 

Ohhh...
A tentacle.
I misread that.

   
     

This is Zac.

Zac used to be a crab. Zac tells everyone that he calls himself Zac because they couldn't say his crab name. This isn't true.
His crab name is Nigel.

Zac is fed up of telling people that he doesn't have a cousin called Sebastian, and there is no such person as the Sea Witch.

Mermaids do exist. One of their favourite food is shellfish. Where do you think Ariel got that bra?

Zac swam through an algal bloom. It gave him a front of the cephalothorax ache. Then he started changing, becoming humanoid. He went to see the doc, but all he saw was a wrec. He went to see the Sturgeon, but she just congratulated him on his transition. He took to his bed but nearly drowned when his gills got absorbed into his body.

Zac has an aversion to melted butter. He hopes his other claw will change into a hand because he wants to play guitar.

Poor Zac.


Zac wanted a fiery sword, but obviously didn't follow the video well enough.

At this point I should say a few things.

Yes, I have the other two.
Yes, they're coming.

I should also apologise to Techno. These are great figures and so enjoyable to paint. The problem is they take some time to paint and my mind sort of wanders - hence the back stories. Originally, I was looking for a tragic hero - someone cursed and tortured. In the end I just went silly. I am sorry.

I've taken the opportunity to try different techniques on each figure. In order: One colour palette, contrast paints and inks, different armour styles and magma sword.

Quick note to Leon, if you want me to write back stories for further releases, I'd be happy to do so. 

Leon?

Leon ...?

He must be so excited he's gone off to tell Milady

Quote from: fsn on 25 February 2023, 01:32:25 PMLeon?

Leon ...?

He must be so excited he's gone off to tell Milady

No he has taste   

Very interesting back stories Nobby, But I think its time you stopped taking the "extra pills" you obtain from the fat spotty youth (No Roald Dahl wokeness from me!) on the street corner and went back to the ones prescribed b your NHS GP.

I'm really enjoying the back stories here, I read Dominic's out to milady while we were in the office yesterday.  So I'm eagerly awaiting the rest!

This is Gary.
 
One day Gary was walking along the beach and he saw an algal bloom. Intrigued, he ran his hand through it. Unfortunately, that arm started becoming sort of crustacean – with a cool Samurai stabby blade at the end.

Gary couldn't play guitar any more. This distressed Gary mightily.
He turned to drink. He drank spirits.

Unfortunately the spirits he drank were Doris, Charmaine and Doug.
Now Gary manifests spirits at the most inopportune times. 
Gary is still a virgin.

Doug is quite cool and he and Gary can hang, but Doug tends to read over Gary's shoulder which is annoying.

Doris and Charmaine are old ladies. They don't say how old, but Charmaine did say she wanted a birthday cake for Doris and asked for 647 candles. Gary doesn't know if Charmaine was joking.
 
Doris and Charmaine talk in loud voices about the people around them. Gary often gets embarrassed.

Doris said Gary should get a nice blue suit, and Charmaine keeps asking when he'll get a  proper job.
Any money that Gary makes, he saves.
Gary is saving up for an exorcist.

Poor Gary.

Ohh Gary

Your painting and backstories for this figure range are excellent fsn   

Thank you. Too kind. Far too kind.

This is Martin

Nobody likes Martin.

Martin's mum was a lovely, kind person.  She made friends with all the other mums.
Martin's mum was sort of hot, so all the boys liked their mums being friends with her.
The worst thing about Martin's mum was Martin.

Martin would always be very nice to mums, but a complete toerag when they weren't around.
He was the kind of boy who deliberately broke your favourite toy, and then apologise profusely when your mum appeared.
He's even get a tear in his eye.
Then get a cuddle from his mum.
Lucky Martin.

Martin pretends that his dad is a duke from a far away country.
He isn't. Martin's mum kicked him out after she caught him with the woman from the florist and a trout.
The trout was innocent, and had not consented in any way, having spent the last few days on an ice bed.

Martin is the sort of person who will tell the boss that you are the one who jammed the photocopier.
Or "accidently" eat your lunch from the sandwich from the communal fridge. 

Martin will say ridiculous things to annoy you.
"15mm is obviously the best scale."
"The M48 was much better than the Centurion."
"Anne Hathaway isn't that good looking."

He's pretentious.
He won't say "Paris", he'll say "Paree".
He'll read a summary of C19 novels so he can pretend he read the whole thing.
He bought a snowboard.

Get knotted Martin.