A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

[Ithoriel]

One of the regular posters on the forum will receive a small parcel from me in the next few days.

It's entirely unsolicited ... but I think they will like it.

They are entirely free to do with it as they will. Keep it, sell it, give it away, throw it away, whatever.

If they post here when it arrives I will tell the sorry tale of it's acquisition.

Intrigued? Speculate away!

[d_Guy]

Russian nesting dolls.

[pierre the shy]

Well if its due to arrive "in a few days" and its for me (not that I think it is) you must have posted it months ago given the current parlus state of UK post being sent overseas 

One of my mates tried to post me a small well packed stoneware jar of Scotch he'd got from a distillery visit when he was in the UK in the late 1980's.....it miraculously arrived unopened by the customs man but somewhere along the line due to rough handling the jar cracked and the contents dissipated completely           

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

This sounds intriguing Mike, nice one.

[fsn]

Could Anne Hathaway in a Centurion tank be described as a "small parcel"?

No?

Wonder who sent me that then.

[fsn]

[fsn]

Hang on, you've not done a Vincent van Gogh have you?

I said. You've not done a Vincent van Gogh have you? With the ear ... yes ... the painter ...

[fred.]

That was a wild 5min ride through fsn's imagination  

[fsn]

Right. Sensible head on.

Ithoriel was going about his lawful(ish) activities supplying fresh cadavers to the students of Edinburgh University. He had the body of a well nourished man of about 50 years, clean shaven, but with a small cut on his chin as if, in the act of shaving, he had nicked himself. On the right side of the man's chin were a few hairs which had been missed by the razor, so he obviously shaved with the window on his left, with the better light.

The man was dressed in a suit of a heavy brown cotton, his waistcoat was a faded silk. Obviously this was the body of a man of the middling sort, who had perhaps fallen somewhat in his wealth - not so far as to be impoverished and poorly fed, but sufficient that he had not the means to replace his good quality clothing.

Upon closer inspection, the knees of the trousers were somewhat worn, and the toes of the brown boots scuffed, suggesting that the man had spent many hours on his knees. Since he wore a neat cravat and not a dog collar, one could surmise the body was not that of a priest or other clergyman. The most likely candidates then are male prostitute (which we can dismiss through personal knowledge), peeping tom or married man.

There is no sign of a wedding ring having been removed from the man's hand, so we are forced to conclude that the man was a peeping tom. Small stains of oil on the man's inside jacket pocket suggested that he habitually carried an organic lubricant in this pocket. A small vial of oil, used to ensure keyhole covers could be silently moved to one side, are habitually carried by toms, and known in the fraternity of such creatures as "an oil-pot".

The other pockets provided a ticket stub to a viewing of an cinéma artistique, which we know features the up and coming actress Miss Brandy Wantsit. Interestingly, Miss Wantsit had a big part in her previous feature "Up and Coming", though it takes no great exercise of the intellect to realise that Brandy Wantsit is in fact an adopted name. Miss Wantsit is actually Ella Wantsit of Spokane, Washington.

So in summary, I have no idea.         

[Gwydion]

The answer is distressingly clear my dear FSN from a reading of your revealing 'analysis' above.

On its way is a batch of the 7% solution which you temporarily find yourself embarrassed to be lacking, having clearly overindulged in recently, thus exhausting your supply.

Knowing of your, ahem, 'attachment', to such chemical stimuli, the good Ithoriel has seen fit to remedy this situation by replenishment of said solution via the mails. What the Postmaster General or indeed Her Imperial Majesty, Queen Victoria herself will make of such use of the postal services makes this former servant of the Crown shudder to contemplate.
Yours
etc

[fsn]

By Milday's scented elbow! I think Sir, you may have happened upon the solution.

Which I will also do once the Early Late Afternoon 2nd Post arrives.


I would not worry too much about Her Majesty's attitude. She often indulges when afflicted by the Curse of Eve.

Or when she has a headache.

Or when she doesn't have a headache.




She off her face most of the time. 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

A brown box containing a hobbit hole/mousehole has arrived via recorded delivery yesterday (I was in Burton all weekend).

Thank you if it was you Mike!
If it was anyone else, thank you too!!! .    

[Ithoriel]

It was indeed from me.

On the day we were talking on the forum about using fish tank items as scenery I had Amazon open as I wanted a couple of thermal vests. Warm the person not the house and all that, in these days of spiralling energy costs!

I'd found the hobbit hole fish tank item on Amazon too.

To be fair to myself, I'd not slept well the night before, I'd had an unexpected windfall which I'd celebrated with a couple of glasses of Smokehead whisky and I was trying to wrap my head around the fine detail of a legal document so I was not at my most alert.

So, I shut down the hobbit hole page and hit buy on the vests .... except, as I'm sure you've already realised, I didn't.

I hit buy on the hobbit hole and closed the vests page. Doh!

It was only when I got the delivery email that I realised what I'd done.

The box arrived and I looked into returning the item and getting my money back but as I did so I thought about the modest amount of money that had come my way. Unexpected and in my estimation not entirely deserved. I was pretty sure Will would like it and so why not spread the good fortune, it was hardly an extravagant gesture after all.

Beware the peril's of late night shopping, the demon drink and shopping while you drop.

P.S. The thermal vests have now arrived too!

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Then thank you x1000
It will definitely get used.