Questions not to ask traders!

Started by Duke Speedy of Leighton, 22 August 2018, 08:53:26 AM

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Duke Speedy of Leighton

22 August 2018, 08:24:47 PM #15
I was once asked at management training session, what three things do you need for success?
Guess they were not Ian Durey and The Blockheads fans.

You may refer to me as: Your Grace, Duke Speedy of Leighton.
2016 Pendraken Painting Competion Participation Prize  (Lucky Dip Catagory) Winner

Ithoriel

22 August 2018, 11:44:57 PM #16
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 August 2018, 08:24:47 PM
I was once asked at management training session, what three things do you need for success?
Guess they were not Ian Durey and The Blockheads fans.

Yes, the assertion that,"Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll are all my mind and body need!" are not sentiments to lighten the hearts of the HR department. :)

Great band live!
There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

Leman

23 August 2018, 06:04:45 AM #17
Strikes me that we are slipping back into Victorian attitudes these days. My job was definitely a lot more enjoyable in the 70s and 80s and the managers were part of the team rather than mealy mouthed overseers.
The artist formerly known as Dour Puritan!

fsn

23 August 2018, 07:58:48 AM #18 Last Edit: 23 August 2018, 08:00:32 AM by fsn
A few years ago, I went to a management consultant day with about 20 colleagues including directors.

The chap stands up and begins with "Every morning the wildebeest wakes up and knows it has to be fater than the fastest lion. And every morning the lion wakes up and knows she just has to be fastest than the slowest wildebeest."

Well, that put me off straight away. He then required us all, in turn to stand up and introduce ourselves to each other. Dutifully, everyone stood up and said "hello, I'm ... and I've been with the company ..."

I stood up and said "Hello. I'm Nobby, and I'm an alcoholic." Seeing the glare of the consultant, I said "Sorry. Same faces, different meeting." and sat down.

Y'know I don't remember anything else about the day.  :-\


Lord Oik of Runcorn (You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

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Techno

23 August 2018, 10:01:54 AM #19
 =O =O =O =O

Knowing you, like I do......I can just see you doing that !
You OIK !! ;D ;D ;D

Cheers - Phil

FierceKitty

23 August 2018, 10:51:56 AM #20
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Orcs

23 August 2018, 11:08:14 AM #21
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Steve J

23 August 2018, 02:32:22 PM #22
Brilliant!!!

d_Guy

23 August 2018, 02:48:21 PM #23
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. That, or you are the sole keeper of some essential arcane knowledge.
Encumbered by Idjits, we pressed on

Leman

23 August 2018, 03:14:17 PM #24
Well done Nobby.  =D> Few things brass me off more than total bullshitters. We're British. What happens in California should stay in California. I still remember the day, early 90s, where a gang of us from different schools were asked to perform yet another piece of useless TVEI bureaucracy. My response of NO surprised them into silence, then, when I was asked why my response was that I was paid to teach for four and a half days a week and half a day to do this. Consequently teaching comes first and this kind of stuff will be fitted in if deemed worthy. This was not deemed worthy as it would have absolutely no effect on the pupils' experience.

Read in the paper the other day that something was going to be introduced to Cambridge University 'for the safety of our staff, visitors and CUSTOMERS!' WTF! Someone send for Bullshit Man - Karl. Karl!
The artist formerly known as Dour Puritan!

kipt

23 August 2018, 06:32:09 PM #25
Easy, i'm In California. But we do have a certain reputation for nonsense, this being the nanny state. Here in San Francisco we are banning plastic straws but giving out needles, and then complaining about all the discarded needles (as well as the other crap on the sidewalks).

One solution at a time but then a solution to the solution - law of unintended consequences.
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