Internal phones....

[Jim Ando]

Hello, STD clinic how may I help.

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

"Yellow" or "Turkish/Indian/Pakistani legation" - in an appropriate accent.

But be careful, answered with the second on a day shift and was talking to a director 

IanS

[DanJ]

I sometimes use : "Vatican Sports Service, Hello ?" ( in french of course, but ... I may try it in english ..)

Shouldn't that be in Italian?

[DanJ]

A friend of mine used to have this (or something like it) on his answer phone, in a Marvin type voice...

"Hello, ......  this is the fridge, the answer phone is out at the moment but if you like I can pass on a message"

[paulr]

The best internal phone story I've come across is in Admiral Cunningham's biography

Some poor junior rating inadvertently called his direct line in his flagship and was greeted with "Cunningham"

Rating: "God!!"

Cunningham: "Only very locally"

[ronan]

Shouldn't that be in Italian?

my knowledge is very limited ! 
( Pizza, signora, chianti )


Very good ideas here, folks... I will borrow some...