REDNECK DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

[Orcs]

Plez compleet this paper, best ya'll can.
Last name: ____________________________
First name:
[ ] Billy-Bob [ ] Bobby-Sue
[ ] Billy-Joe [ ] Bobby-Jo
[ ] Billy-Ray [ ] Bobby-Ann
[ ] Billy-Sue [ ] Bobby-Lee
[ ] Billy-Mae [ ] Bobby-Ellen
[ ] Billy-Jack [ ] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [ ]M [ ]F [ ]None
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[ ] Farmer [ ] Mechanic
[ ] Hair Dresser [ ] Waitress
[ ] Un-employed [ ] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: _____________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: ______________________________
2nd Lover's Name: ___________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[ ] Sister [ ] Aunt
[ ] Brother [ ] Uncle
[ ] Mother [ ] Son
[ ] Father [ ] Daughter
[ ] Cousin [ ] Pet (grandparents dont count)
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: _______
Number of children that are yours: ______
Mother's Name: _______________________ (Relation__________)
Father's Name: _______________________ (Relation__________)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
If you obtained a higher education what was your major?
[ ] 5th grade [ ] 6th grade
Do you [ ] own or [ ] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you are still slow lerrnin ?
[ ] Yes [ ] No)
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom/outhouse
____ shed ____ pawnshop
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
[ ] Yes [ ] No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[ ] The National Enquirer [ ] The Globe
[ ] TV Guide [ ] Soap Opera Digest
[ ] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Bassmasters
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Do you hunt Bear? If so, please do not explain
How often do you bathe:
[ ] Weekly
[ ] Monthly
[ ] Not Applicable
How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___
Color of teeth:
[ ] Yellow [ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown [ ] Black
[ ] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[ ] Red-Man [ ] Skoal
How far is your home from a paved road?
[ ] 1 mile
[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don't know
Distance between mobile home and Bubba's House of Beer ? ___
How many times has you received a DWI this year?____

[d_Guy]

As a fully qualified Redneck I must protest a glaring error in your form.
We do NOT wear shoes, hence shoe size has no relevance.

[FierceKitty]

No inquire into the number of tartan shirts?

[Orcs]

No inquire into the number of tartan shirts?

Or how many dogs.

[DFlynSqrl]

Or how many dogs.

And if any of those dogs will be listed as drivers.

[d_Guy]

No inquire into the number of tartan shirts?

Possibly useful but the ratio of Lynyrd Skynyrd to AC/DC shirts would be more diagnostic.

Or how many dogs.

Given the needs for homestead security and various hunting needs, this number should start with a minimum of four.

For DFlynSqrl 

[paulr]

In NZ we have real driving dogs

[d_Guy]

Neat! 

But I did notice they kept the ducks well back.

[DFlynSqrl]

LOL @ d_Guy

@Paul - That's pretty cool.  I wonder if Uber has seen this video...

[Orcs]

LOL @ d_Guy

@Paul - That's pretty cool.  I wonder if Uber has seen this video...

The way some of the taxi drivers my way drive, the dogs would be a vast improvement