You Tube finds

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Phil -   Work Faster ?

[fsn]

A Russian spy was dropped by parachute in the Welsh hills with instructions to contact a Mr Jones in the small village of Llanfair and give him the coded message: "The tulips are blooming well today."

Arriving at the village he asked a small boy where Mr Jones lived and was directed to a small cottage. He knocked on the door and the owner emerged: "Are you Mr Jones?"

"I am."

"The tulips are blooming well today."

Mr Jones stared at him in amazement then smiled: "Ah, you must have the wrong house. It's Jones the Spy you want."



I quote this joke that is so old that even Techno can't remember it being created as a prelude to asking if that is Techno's Welsh name? "Phil WorkHarder"?

"Oh look you, it's Phil WorkHarder! Dewi Sant what's that he's wearing? Is it a bedsheet? And him not even a druid! It'll be all that playing with little men that driven him a little bit potty. And that wife of his. Poor woman. Not even a carer's allowance or a taser to keep her safe from his doings."

"Bore da! Phil WorkHarder!"

"And you know he hasn't a word of Welsh but 'popty-ping'. Ask him anything and the only answer you get is 'microwave oven'."

"And his accent! Can't even pronounce his "ll", and even my cat can do that when she's got a furball."

"Its all that time away in Snottingham. He was a blithe bach when he left, but all that consorting with them evil things ..."

"He consorted with daemons?"

"Worse - English, well he's not been the same since. There's a pity. Anyway, I must go. There's a coachload of tourists coming in, and I've got to pretend I don't understand them. Would you like to come along, so we can speak Welsh about them?"

"Dioch yn fawr. I would indeed."

[Techno]

If I'm known as anything, here....It'll probably be something like "Phil Milwr Tegan."

Cheers - Phil.

[toxicpixie]

""Worse - English, well he's not been the same since. There's a pity. Anyway, I must go. There's a coachload of tourists coming in, and I've got to pretend I don't understand them. Would you like to come along, so we can speak Welsh about them?""

Many years ago when I lived in Aberystwyth (abortive first attempt at Uni), the little old dears would immediately (and only then!) switch into Welsh when someone "studenty" entered a shop or passed them on the beach or whatever, and start giving all students, young people, the English a good slagging off thinking they couldn't understand. They kept coming a cropper with my friend Cerys and her brother, who were very studenty but were also born and raised in a valley about ten miles up the road and spoke Welsh as a first language.

There's nothing quite the puce shade of a back biting old lady whose nastiness has just been called out

[FierceKitty]

I've had the experience with South African tourists who think Afrikaans gives them an unbreakable code. Which, considering you can learn it in a fortnight, is a rash assumption.

[toxicpixie]

Whoops!

I do like the somewhat apoplectic puce colour people go when called like that

[fsn]

If I'm known as anything, here....It'll probably be something like "Phil Milwr Tegan."

What no "Oik!"? 

[Ithoriel]

Spent just under a year at the Coleg Llyfrgellwyr Cymru in Aberystwyth. As a Scot I was considered a foreign student for funding purposes!

I rapidly discovered that if I went into a shop and the locals switched to Welsh and pretended not to understand English that their knowledge of the language improved immensely when they discovered I was Scots not English.

Given the behaviour of some English fellow students it was hard not to sympathise sometimes.

[Westmarcher]

If I'm known as anything, here....It'll probably be something like "Phil Milwr Tegan."

Cheers - Phil.

What? Phil the Toy Boy?

[toxicpixie]

I'd consider a move to Scotland or Wales these days just for the sake of the Uni costs for the wee one as/when/if she wants to go

[Techno]

What no "Oik!"? 

That almost goes without saying......You OIK !

What? Phil the Toy Boy?

Supposed to be Toy Soldier.....Or did I spell it wrong ? 

Cheers - Phil

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Well you did put a vowel in it ! 

[fsn]

That almost goes without saying......You OIK !

Well you did put a vowel in it ! 

There's no "k" in Welsh either. So with no vowels and no "k", "oik" would come out as "   ". 

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Allus thinked youse wuz vacant Nobby, you "   ".

IanS

[toxicpixie]

He be pretty, but is he vacant?